Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Random what-what?!

One of my favourite things about having a blog is learning about the random ways people discover it (mostly through google searches). A recent search that made me inordinately happy is "best leading men period drama." Other google searches that have led to my blog include "how should a written outgoing envelope look," "justice league membership card," "small envelope making machine," "can silhouette cameo make postcards," "i like your silhouette," and "i do stickers."

The "I do stickers" is particularly puzzling because while I've said some pretty nutty things, I'm fairly certain the words I do stickers have never appeared on my blog. Of course, despite writing that those words have never appeared on this blog, they just appeared three times above. You're very welcome previous googler of "I do stickers"—now it's very legit that you've ended up here. But that's a funny phrase isn't it? Interpreted one way, it's clearly related to weddings. Interpreted another way: woah, what you do in the privacy of your own home is YOUR business. Sticker fetishes, that's a new one. Ha. No? As usual, it's just me then...

I ask myself that all the time.....

Anyway, there really is no point to this post other than to try to drive more random google searches to this blog. So here goes:

- green dinosaurs like one percent milk
- apples and oranges do the tango
- shoes caught in the incinerator
- small paper vacuum slash coffee maker
- creme brule torch master
- time travelling walrus
- Ra-ra-rasputin liked his cuppas
- ninjas go to war over muffins
- hippopotamus likes polka dot ties

THERE. Now if anyone googles any variation of the words above, they'll get driven here. I'd normally insert evil laughter here, but I'm only 34.6% evil on a good day and I don't want to feel like an evil phoney.

However, if someone does find my blog by googling the above words, I have two very important things to say:

First: I'M SORRY.
Secondly: What exactly are you using google to find? Have you considered searching "leafy sea dragon" instead?

Anyone else have weird google searches that have led to their blogs? What's your weirdest?


  1. I had one search leading to my blog: mom chopped hair.... ehh... what??? xD

    I sent you a letter today <3

    1. Oh YAY! Just to be clear, the YAY is for the letter, not for the mom chopped hair bit. :) Mom chopped hair, huh? That is an odd one.

  2. The wierdest I ever had and it freaked me out a littel was I typed in "How do I..." and the first one up was "How do i get my sister to sleep with me?". I am not sure which was worse, that its was there from the random words or that enough people searched it that Google pushed it to the top of the list. Great post. Love the topic.

  3. New-ish blogger here. How do you find out what google searches lead to your blog? I'm curious now! Thanks :-)

    1. On blogger, it should be listed as part of your stats. Under traffic sources (or some variation of those two words). I hope that helps!

  4. Hahah. 'stomp clap, stomp clap' was a common search phrase that got my blog traffic for a bit.

    1. I love this. I love it so much that I strongly encourage you to record "stomp clap, stomp clap" as a sound bit and sign off all your blog posts with it. It's your theme song! :)

  5. Oh yes, I've had my fair share of weird Google searches! The worst one was probably "nose picking fetish"!

    Some recent ones (typos & mistakes included):

    - how can i order penpal stickers through post
    - i don't want new penpals contacting me on interpals
    - white to your penpal
    - foreign female bodybuildder penpal
    - divored penpals
    - names for my sphynx cats
    - penals
    - i hate cleaning teeth
    - naked penpals
    - penpal if the week
    - pen pale
    - under my dress
    - i need pen friand
    - how to make sheep from vegetables
    - prisom pin palls
    - pen as a yoohoo
    - gay penpals in the british armed forces
    - black christian european who wants penpals with their emails and photos in 2012

    And one that I get a lot is "steampunk wedding dress".

    Ah, hours of entertainment!

    1. Ding, Ding, Ding! We have a winner for weirdest google searches! Julie, c'mon down and get your prize!! Those are some doozies. But oh so hilarious.

      My absolute favourites are nose picking fetish, i hate cleaning teeth (WHA?), pen pale, pen as a yoohoo, and how to make sheep from vegetables (this one has my imagination in overdrive). So how DOES someone make sheep from vegetables? Should that be before or after they write to a foreign female bodybuildder penpal? :D

    2. I have a new fun one to report:

      - ideas for fanny packs


      And you know this one's because of you... ;)

      By the way, I'm almost done with your letter. I'm on page #24 (I think) and I won't be able to write much more than that because I only have 1 sheet of stationery left. So you'll be getting a 26 page letter. I hope that's not too disappointing!

      Leaving to watch the UFC with the boys now... Have a nice evening! xox

    3. Oh, that is hilarious!! Love it! If you ever think of other weird searches that you want to lead to your blog, I'll do my best to oblige. Should I send you a top 10 quirks list talking about how I have a fetish for superhero stuffed animals? For the record: I don't. I DON'T. :)

      YAY! A 26 page letter is most excellent. I can't wait to get it!

      Watching men pound themselves into a bloody mess is a great way to spend a Saturday evening. I hope you had a great time.

    4. I did! And I finally finished your letter. It will be mailed this week! xox

  6. Hahahaha! Oh, my, Laura! You're hilarious! I'd never thought of looking up odd phrases like these, hehe.

    I'm glad you finally got my letter, yay! ;)

    Happy midweek! ;D


  7. Dear Laura, you made chuckled twice today. First, I saw your Top 10 Quirks at Julie's blog and next, I saw this funny post! hahaha!

  8. I got some funny google researches, too:
    - foto profili me hellokity (the best)
    - awful postcard
    - how to letter write my love
    - flower power (I still haven't figured out WHERE these words appear in my blog)
    - feed this letter to mailbox now
    - the picture of lover

    I got other strange ones but I don't exactly remember. And what's funny is that when I try typing these words on Google search I absolutely DON'T find my blog! :D

    1. Those are great searches. My personal faves are "feed this letter to mailbox now" and "awful postcard." Hee! :)