Hello snail mailers! Did you miss me? The six people who still read this blog may have noticed that I failed to update my blog last week. It's not my fault, I swear. The earth swallowed me up, spit me out somewhere, and it took me almost 10 days to find my way back home. And then, I immediately jumped onto my computer to write this blog post, because THAT's how dedicated I am.
So, you know what I thought a lot about this week? I talk a lot about the apocalypse, particularly one where zombies run amok, but what would happen to mail if an apocalypse really happened? Who would deliver the mail? Who would sell us stamps? Where would we buy ink and pens?! Won't someone think of the mail children?!!!
Maybe we should figure out a communication/mail system for an apocalyptic scenario. Because if TV/movies are any indication, an apocalypse is looming just around the corner. My money is on 2036 because I know those pesky Observers are coming... At least I hope the apocalypse hits, because if it doesn't happen, then my obsessive stock piling of toilet paper just looks foolish. BUT, if it does come, you're going to be knocking down my door for toilet paper and who is going to look foolish then, huh?! (it's still me, isn't it? Darn it, that always happens!)
I know it's generally fun and games at Please Deliver To, but I am 100% serious and in earnest here. Here is my suggested plan for mail delivery come the apocalypse: we start training snails to deliver mail.
It's time to take back the literal meaning of snail mail. I figure snails are the perfect mail delivery system because no creature—zombie, vampire, oversized goat, or otherwise—is going to mess with them because they have a shell. All that work for such little meat? NO WAY.
My snail will be named Herman and I will train Herman to deliver all my mail. Of course, he'll probably take 23 years to deliver a letter (what do you expect? He's still just a snail!), but it'll get there. Everyone knows that post by (literal) snail is the most reliable service there is.
What will your snails be named? I ask this because I need to input the info regarding your snails into my security system. Otherwise I won't get your mail. I mean, not just anyone can get past my "Stop right there! This means you!" signs. That's top-notch security right there. Even Fort Knox is jealous.
What are your thoughts on how mail can be delivered during the apocalypse?
|Mail from my Sushi, who has abandoned me for sunny beaches in Mexico|
|A thank you card from Sauni-Rae (check out that squirrel drawing! Awesome!)|
|Fox postcard from Nora|
|I love that yorkshire gold makes Jess think of me. So much so that she creates a postcard out of the empty box and sends it my way. |
|Mail from Vanessa in the UK|
|These Jane Austen stamps from Royal Mail are amazing and I need a whole set for my life to be complete. |
|World traveling from Sarah|
|A thank you note for Louisa|
|Moustachio Mail for the ever lovely Kay|
|I'm bringing sexy back for Jess|
|I can't think of a semi-clever title for this envelope, but it's for Mary |
|Global tracking for Kimmie|
|French tulips for Julie in MI. Why French? Because it's classier. |
And that's it from me! What have you been up to these past few weeks? Fill me in! Oh. and also, have a great week!