Friday, September 28, 2012

Life's more painless for the brainless...."SQUIRREL!"

I literally have nothing to say today. I have zero thoughts. YOU! Do you have any thoughts I can borrow? I promise I'll return them in the condition I found them. Fine, I'll pay the six easy installments of $14.99 for your thoughts. Now hand them over please....

OH, you were just thinking that, for once, you want me to stop blathering and just jump into the mail? Fine, I'll do that then.


Not a lot of incoming this week. In fact, not a single letter!


However, an advantage of a slow week is that it gives me the chance to catch up on my mail. And catch up I did! I was a letter writing machine this week. Really! Just check my serial number if you don't believe me. I'm pretty sure the serial number was alphanumeric for Letter Botz #43.

I don't want to count the ants in my pants before they hatch, but I think I'll be 100% caught up on my letters by next week. Then what will I do? Maybe I should try taking over the world again....the last time was so botched. That's what I get for buying satellite rayguns that are Made in China. All professional supervillians make sure their satellite rayguns are Made in Titan. Rookie supervillian mistake.

As an aside, one my favourite shows ever comes back for its last season tonight. Any one watch and love Fringe? Let me know! I'll firstly high-five you for having excellent taste in TV. And then probably freak you right out with an incomprehensible wave of fangirl enthusiasm—doesn't that sound like FUN?!! LET'S DO THIS!!

Have a great week everyone!

Friday, September 21, 2012

The 80s called. It wants a letter.

I spent this week thinking about the 80s. I love the 80s. If I had a time machine, for example, and the whattamajig broke and the hardware store was perpetually out of stock of the whatchamacallit and I had to be stuck in a recent decade forever, it would be the 80s. Okay, I admit the clothes and the hair styles are a bit unfortunate, but bad sartorial choices notwithstanding, it was a great decade for pop culture. John Hughes movies, fantastic music (Depeche Mode and The Smiths baby!), TV (Saved by the Bell, Wonder Years, Full House), and so much more. But above all else, there was my absolute favourite 80s music instrument:



I'm obviously a fan of combining words and dudes, it's a keyboard guitar. Is it a guitar? Is it a keyboard? IT'S BOTH. I'm not above admitting that the keytar is one of the best inventions ever. Who needs cars, duct tape, or microwaves when you can play two instruments at once?! I'm inordinately excited by keytars. I figure that I only have enough of this kind of excitement for one more go round, so I'm saving the remainder of my enthusiasm for the inevitable day that a company announces the creation of the xylobone. You know, the xylophone that is also a trombone? Oh, the possibilities! Music will be forever changed.


Not a lot of incoming this week—the "to get a letter, write a letter" adage is completely, 100% true—but it was still a great mail week. I'm calling it the Week of Marissa.

First is this package from... you guessed it, Marissa.
Marissa is exceptionally talented and carves her own stamps. She's been telling me how carving your own stamps isn't too difficult, and sent me this awesome stamp carving kit so I can try my hand at it. At my request, she even included bandaids. Though I think she underestimated my inability to wield sharp objects (there's a reason why my husband only lets me have safety scissors) because those bandaids look mighty small for my uses.... Note this post, dear readers, it might be the last time I type with two, intact, functional hands. Next time we meet, I might be Laura of the 1.5 hands. I figure carving off 50% of one hand seems like a reasonable estimate. If I have at least one stamp I can use at the end of it all, I'll consider it a success. "Hey Laura, is that a blob creature stamp?" "Blob creature?! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SWAN RIDING A DRAGON!!"

Second is this letter from Marissa.

I don't normally show the contents of my incoming envelopes, but I think you would all appreciate Marissa's stationery. I'm fairly certain it's handmade.

Isn't it beautiful?!!! As I mentioned above, Marissa says that "carving stamps isn't too difficult." Of course it isn't if MAGIC COMES OUT OF YOUR HANDS. I think she has mini unicorns in her hands!


A rainbow letter for the wonderful Kay

Outgoing to Patty at Just Letter Rip

A letter for Katri of Hipster Curious

A letter for Jessica who recently relocated to Malaysia and now lives by a beach. I'm not jealous at all...and who am I kidding? I TOTALLY am.

And that's it! I'm off to unintentionally gouge parts of my hand out. Wish me luck! Have a great weekend everyone! 

Friday, September 14, 2012

Dr. Feelgood likes the mail.

Hello everyone!

Well, the first step to having a problem is admitting that you have a problem. Second step is to seek treatment. I'm now being treated for what my "doctor" calls punctuatilis. You may otherwise know it by its more descriptive description (ha!): abuse of punctuation. Apparently a side effect of being treated is superflous redundancy!

My doctor's name is Dr. Finnegan Feelgood. I found him on kijiji and although his credentials are printed on the back of a KFC advertisement, I'm convinced they're legit. BECAUSE THEY'RE LAMINATED. No one bogus is going to laminate forged documentation—that's crazy! I'm on a strict drug regimen of skittles, cherry cola bottles, and chewy frogs to cure my condition and it works for the most part. I don't think I'll ever really be cured because let's FACE it, punctuation abuse IS kind; of, awesome, but I seem to be doing a lot better. Look ma, no comma abuse!! 

Also, does anyone have any tips for using rubber stamps? I can never get the image to imprint evenly. Someone must have cast a rubber stamp curse on me. There is no other explanation.



I actually sent this letter to Julie back in August but I'm only getting around to posting it now. How is it already mid-September?! Julie, are you speeding up time again?!

To the lovely Jona

For Felicia, my fellow Western Canadian penpaller

Forever Young Adult hosted Pride and Prejudice Week this week, which was P&P all week long. I'll leave you with my favourite of this week's posts, titled "Adaptation Deathmatch" in which the 1995 mini-series and the 2005 movie duke it out for adaptation supremacy. I know I'm in the minority on this one—and that's okay, we can agree to disagree—but I'm 100% for Matthew MacFadyen. If you want to battle it out in an epic thumb war, I'm game. But I should warn you, I'm supremely high on sugar.

Have a great week everyone. 

Friday, September 7, 2012

Guilty! Of punctuation abuse.

Hi everyone. My name is Laura and I like, to, abuse, commas. It's been zero days since I last abused commas. Sometimes, when I've reached a new low; I'll also; abuse; semicolons. Please help me.


I love getting mail from Marissa. Not only is she a great penpal, she also sends the coolest stuff.

Such as this: VOILA! Take a look at my very first Puzzletter!! How awesomesauce is this?!
6 hours, a bathtub full of tears, and more swearing than an episode of Deadwood later..... TA DAH!!!! Who likes scones and is in possession of a completed puzzle postcard? THIS GIRL. Whew, that was exhausting. I need a drink.

Jay found this postcard in a flea market recently and sent it to me! I love it. It is especially apt for a girl who just spent a great deal of time acquainting herself with these tube stations.


HUZZAH!!! I WROTE A LETTER! I ACTUALLY WROTE A LETTER! I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M YELLING!! Apparently it's a slippery slope from comma abuse to capitalization abuse. What's next? Unnecessary quotations? Soon I'll open a restaurant that has a "chicken" fried rice special. Hey you, I'll be sending a "letter" to you soon. I'm a punctuation/capitalization monster.

And that's it from me. I hope you all have a great week of awesome "mail" days.