Friday, January 25, 2013

The 3 Ws (Washi, Washi, Washi)

I give up.

Washi tape, I am at your mercy. I have tried to resist you, I have tried to stop loving you, but it's like a zombie trying to resist the sweet taste of human flesh—it's just impossible!

I know that I don't have any more room for you. I know that I'll have to sell my kidney in order to buy more of you, but I must have you! I suffer from washinitis and you are my drug and cure.

*This blogpost is brought to you from Washi W-Anonymous, a concerned group of recovering addicts trying to help fellow snail mailers with their obsessive tape struggles. Laura came to us about a month ago, telling us that washi tape was taking over her life (as well as her house) and we tried our best to help her.

Laura left the above note before fleeing our clinic. We've now come to the realization that there are some washi weirdos that are beyond our help. Don't be like Laura. The last time we saw her, she was begging someone to give her washi tape in exchange for her kidney. It was frightening and we won't go into detail in case children are around. We thought it was our duty to bring you this story to the public as a cautionary tale for other people who might be on this terrifying path. Get help before it's too late! 

Incoming:




Shitflap! It's London-themed mail from Jess! Stop one on the Sisqo-themed "Thighs Like What-What" tour.

I don't normally show the contents of my letters, but Jess's husband, Dustin, is a very talented artist who drew a photo containing two of my most favourite things in the world. All it needed was a moustache and it would have been the trifecta of things I love; even so, I love this drawing so much. It seemed like a shame not to post it because I secretly think that Dustin wanted it shared. That way, he could mock us with his superior drawing talents and laugh at us mere mortals.

Squirrel postcard from, you probably guessed it, Sushi!

OY VEY! It's a party invite from Felicia!

Mail from my very favourite library page, Miki (whose most recent outfit post makes me angry that I don't live in California)

Mail from Vanessa in Chicago

Nuts from Natasha! More squirrels, baby!


Outgoing:


No outgoing for this week. It's not as if I'm the co-organizer of a club for penpals or anything, right? Own a mail blog? It would be ridiculous of me to send mail! Get outta here with your craaazy ideas people!

On a serious note though, I'm very much looking forward to the first issue of LEP's newsletter being completed because I'd like to a) sleep for more than 3 hours a night and b) actually write a letter. But soon...soon! 

Just a reminder that this is the last week to sign up for LEP at the discounted rate; otherwise, I will "see" you at the first LEP meeting on February 1!

Have a wonderful week everyone!

22 comments:

  1. I hereby wish you luck for conquering the Dark World of Washi Tapes! :)

    P.S. Don't sell you KIDNEYS!!

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  2. Oh dear, Laura, this is really bad! You KNOW washi tape costs so much more than the going rate for kidneys, especially with this economy! Hopefully, you're well into recovery now and thinking of picking up some healthier habits--you know, running with scissors and obsessive candy hoarding.

    But speaking of mail, your Christmas mail FINALLY found its way SOMEWHERE today, when it came back to my box labeled "Return to Sender". Apparently, I wrote the address wrong, but I swear that I did, but whatever because here it is. Which is actually hilarious to me as I just sent a replacement letter out to you on Tuesday. Albeit, less Christmas cheer-like and no fun surprises. But that's cool! Because now I can RESEND Christmas awesomeness with my next letter, hopefully with the proper address this time...

    ....although the postman who labeled this has really pretty cursive, so I might just start sending extra letters your way, with the wrong address purposely written just so I can see the pretty penmanship....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Running with scissors, obsessive candy hoarding, rolling down Niagara Falls in a barrel...all healthy, life-prolonging habits, right?

      According to Emily Post, a man can tell whether a woman would make a good wife based on her handwriting. Perhaps the opposite is true too? THIS IS THE STUFF OF ROM-COMS, KAY.

      Delete
  3. Feelin really good about the tea rex.

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  4. Uh oh, I'm in trouble. Washinitis is catching!!

    Hey, not all of California has been so balmy! (But my portion has... mwahahaha!!)

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    Replies
    1. Oh, rub it in all you want. I'll just go play in my snow piles and cry. Miserably.

      Delete
  5. Woah you have such cute mail ^.^

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  6. Your mail is extra cute today. I really love love the Squirrel post card. and that guy is amazing at drawing wow so amazing.

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  7. Haha, you made me laugh with the washi tape. I agree, SO ADDICTIVE!

    And by the way, I'm your newest follower, love your blog!

    Laura
    http://visitmymailbox.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Hello Laura! Thanks for coming by. I'm glad to know that there are other perpetrators of washi tape abuse out there. Welcome, welcome!

      Delete
  8. A friend (Points the comment just above) pointed out your post to me saying that I needed to check it because the first lines were making her think about me and INDEED... I have the same current washi tape addiction, no matter how hard I try not to buy more rolls... I should join your washi tape anonymous group.

    Anyway washi tape addiction + batman reference on your profile... I had to follow you so, hi :)

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    Replies
    1. Hello Emma! I should tell you that my washi tape anonymous group couldn't help me (I was too far gone), but it's definitely helpful to be able to talk about our addictions.

      It's an amazing thing, isn't it? It's just patterned tape but yet...addictive things!

      Delete
  9. Um, where are the pictures of this washi goodness?!? Want to see kidney worthy tape!!!

    Oh crap. Actualization. I may be an addict. Here I am looking for Washi porn...

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    Replies
    1. I've been trying to figure out how to link a photo of my washi tape that I posted on instagram, but apparently the internet keeps outsmarting me. Here is an old photo though: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HiPKhilxrIc/T8ud5Qa0bVI/AAAAAAAAApM/UIFzyFGaQOw/s1600/IMG_4609.JPG

      It's probably doubled since then, which is actually a scary thought. :/

      Washi porn! I regularly search the #washitape hashtag on instagram just so I can drool (unsightly, I know) over other people's collections. And I wonder why my addiction isn't getting better...

      Delete
    2. Oh man. I didn't even think of doing that on instagram. I totally scour it for pretty mail... how could I have not though of it for pretty tape!

      K, I just did it. It gave me over 11,000 photos to look at! It is the never ending fountain of washi porn!!!! Soooo much pretty!!!!

      Delete
  10. "Shitflap!" has officially made me laugh more than anything else in my entire life. I was stood at work and remembered it and started smirking right in a customers face. I haven't conquered Washi tape yet but I'm SUPER EXCITED FOR LEP.

    Shitflap!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SHITFLAP! It makes me excited that you're excited for LEP. I'm shitflappingly excited too.

      Here's another swear term, courtesy of my husband: douchecanoe. Go wild with it.

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    2. Thank you! I've been calling my dad 'shitflap' and 'binbag' (my favourite, because it's not even a swear) all this evening so I'm sure 'douchecanoe' will make an appearance tomorrow. As in "YO, DOUCHCANOE, GET ME MORE MILK FOR MA CHOCOLATE ORANGE SHREDDIES". I love my dad, it's just BANTER, innit.

      Delete
  11. Mister Dustin blushed when he saw that everyone was diggin' on Tea Rex. I've been thinking about talking mustaches ever since I read your comment about the Tea Red needing one. Perhaps I'll think up something clever.

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  12. Hahaha! You're too funny, Laura! :P I think washinitis is a cool thing to suffer from!

    Awe, my letter is there! I didn't know they'd put that blue sticker on the envelope! David took it to the post office on a Saturday after dropping me off at work. Come to Cali, Laura! :D

    Hope you're having a great week! ;D

    Tight hugs!

    ReplyDelete