Friday, October 12, 2012

The secret ingredient sure ain't love....!

It started snowing this week where I am. I’m usually a fan of cool fall weather because it’s perfect tea and hoodie weather (I refer to it as “Goldilocks” weather—not too cold and not too warm), but this is ridiculous. CURSE YOU CANADIAN WEATHER.

I decided to stay warm by keeping my oven practically permanently on (it doubles as a radiator, doesn’t it?) and baking up a storm. I’m trying to make the perfect scone, but I’m running into a number of problems. The main being that I suck at baking. I don’t know how to overcome this particular problem…

I know that baking is supposed to be this relaxing, therapeutic activity. But when I set off the smoke alarm with my 2nd try at scones, and the stupid alarm was emitting this “EEEEEEIIII” that I’m sure they could hear all the way in Florida, I was thinking: “I AM NOT FRAKKING RELAXED.” Unless, of course, “relaxed” means that you’re ready to attack your oven and/or smoke alarm with an axe; if so, then I was VERY relaxed. I was a mother flipping boatload of RELAXED. Frankie wouldn't even need to say anything, I would already be there.

It doesn’t help that I always seem to run into the same problem when mixing the wet and dry ingredients together. Either there is too much dry stuff and I can’t get it to mix with what’s left of the clumpy wet stuff (WOAH! Wet stuff and dry stuff? Tone down the descriptive terms there Laura), or it’s supposed to be the consistency of actual dough, but it looks like my dough is suffering from leprosy (ie: lumpy and falling apart). When this happens, I get even more “relaxed!” If I was any more “relaxed,” I’d probably die.

I should just stick to mail. I’m not bad at mail.

Incoming:


This was such a great mail week! I seriously have the best penpals.

First up is the totally kooky and much beloved Julie:
SQUIRREL!!! This postcard came with nuts and love. The love I can handle, but the nuts! WOAH! Warn a gal before you throw nuts at her (and this sentence took a weird turn so I'm just going to move on.... SQUIRREL!).

Then came Julie's rather large envelope that contained total awesomeness like Star Wars stickers, sushi (!!!) post-its, and a tea postcard.
And just when I thought that it had maxed out on its awesome quotient, I noticed the velociraptor-iffic stamps it came with.
So. Many. Superhero. Stamps. I. Can't. Function.
Is it considered certifiable if a person wants to roll around in a bed of superhero stamps? It is?! Oh.........

Then came a letter from Kay! I love letters from Kay. Especially when they come with CDs containing things that are both fun and educational, as well as cards decorated with glitter that I'll probably be wearing in my eyebrows all week long. Have you noticed that letters containing glitter are the gifts that keep giving? I'm constantly finding it everywhere for weeks. It's like a disco ball exploded in my kitchen.

Last but not least, a TARDIS letter from Sarah! Sarah made me a Robot/Sci-Fi mix CD that is pretty awesome. The first track goes "Doctor Who, Doctor Whooooo! Doctor Who-oh, The Tardis...." I've uploaded the CD under the title: Robot Tunes. Perfect for those times when I'm feeling especially mechanical (usually M, W, F between the hours of 1:27 pm and 3:52 pm).

Outgoing:


Shit. I just realized that I'm STILL putting my moustaches upside down. Why brain, WHY?!! Maybe I should stop using moustaches and just go with circles. There is a zero percent margin for error there.

A letter for the jovial Jona

A letter for kickass Katri

A letter for bright Beto



And that's it from me folks. I hope your adventures in weather and baking were much more fruitful than mine this week. Have a great week everyone.

23 comments:

  1. As the recipient of all of your baking this week I can honestly say that it all turned out to be very good. Best part was you calling me so we could experience the alarm going together.

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  2. Oh my! Superheroes stamps! They are indeed velociraptor-iffic!!! Of course it's NOT certifiable, no one will be there to stop you Laura, unless Superman comes alive and calls Dr. Feelgood. And you would have to take another course of chewy frogs and squirrel tablets. Anyway, I'm sorry about your 'scones' and the stubborn oven of yours. Also, that's a very interesting definition for 'relaxed'. :D

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    1. Chewy frogs and squirrel tablets... I know I'm supposed to be fearful of additional treatment, but I'm kind of hoping that Superman comes alive and does call Dr. Feelgood! I think we could all use that kind of treatment in order to "relax." But the real kind of relaxed, not the want-to-kill-my-oven relaxed. :)

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  3. Laura- your blog is ACE. Who would've thought a battlestar galactica turn of phrase could be lined up next to an 80s pop reference, all in a discussion of baking! Brilliant. And PS... Scones and baked goods always taste better when someone else has gone through the "relaxing" process of baking them :)

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    1. Helen, you get two thumbs up for catching both the BSG reference and the 80s pop one! In fact, here is two thumbs up and an elbow because I'm that pleased!

      You are absolutely right. Let someone else do the "relaxing," I'll just do the eating. I'm good at eating.

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  4. Are you kidding me??? Is your mail already on its way?? Xxx

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  5. Are you kidding me??? Is your mail already on its way?? Xxx

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    1. The beauty of being caught up on all your mail is that you become that speedy at replies! It'll be there before you even finish this sentence. That's how speedy it is!

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  6. I love the SQUIRREL post card super cute big time.
    I also loved the letters your friends sent you.
    I hope the weather get;s better.
    I am use to Canada weather.

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    1. Thanks Sammy! I'm used to Canadian weather too, it just doesn't mean that I have to like it! :)

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  7. So pleased you received the letter and mix in one piece! Love it when the postal service is gentle with the mail. :)

    I'll share with you some scone-making tips as given to me by my Nanna (who makes award-winning scones):
    1. Your dough is supposed to be lumpy. Don't overwork it or your scones will not rise and shall be as hard (and as inedible) as rocks!
    2. Humidity will affect your dough. If you've got the heating cranked, chances are it's too dry inside.
    3. Keep your dough thick when you cut the scones. Don't smash it with the rolling pin.
    4. Try lemonade in your dough. I don't have my Nanna's scone recipe because she won't share it (I suspect it'll be in her Last Will & Testament), but I know she uses lemonade. The fizz lightens the dough.

    Good luck with the baking!
    ~S.

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    1. I like the sound of award-winning scones! And I'm definitely intrigued by the idea of lemonade in scones.

      Thanks for the tips! But my problem most often lies in tip #1: I can't seem to get the dry stuff to mix with the wet stuff to make dough without working it quite a bit. But working it too much makes your scones hard. In other words: ARRRRGGGGH!! I feel like it's the catch 22 of dough making. And it totally makes me loopy.

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  8. Ha! Then my evil glitter plan is working! (forget the fact that I'm STILL finding it all over my desk)
    but I mailed out your letter and then realized that I can't abide by our rule of top five movies--I FORGET TO LIST *EASY VIRTUE* with Colin Firth and Jessica Biel. I know, so terrible of me.
    But don't worry--the glitter is getting your revenge for you!

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  9. OH! OH! And Legends of the Fall, with Brad Pitt, Aiden Quinn, and Julia Ormond. It is EPICALLY good.
    And sort of tragic.
    But SO GOOD.

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  10. wait...did I include Legends of the Fall in my letter? I can't remember....

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    1. I just checked and yup, Legends of the Fall was included in your Top Five *cough*567*cough* List. But it was really movie #9 at this point... And oh, this just in: your interpretation of the number 5 doesn't match my interpretation of the number 5. Your 5 is more like 6 or 7 or 12. What is going on here? Have you no top-five-list abiding shame?!! ;)

      Evil glitter plan....I knew it! I knew it! You're leading a unicorn attack, aren't you?

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  11. Hi Laura, stumbled upon your blog through Julie's. Just had to say: you had me at Squirrel!!! AND the fact that I am coveting a SINGLE superman stamp from back in the day! I am completely envious of a letter with the whole freakin set! AND the oven is a totally valid source of heat. Base board heaters take up too much precious floor space in a small apartment. Push your furniture against the wall and use the oven is my motto! AND I think this post needs a few more !!!!!!!

    Tami

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    1. Hi Tami! Thanks for visiting my corner of the blogworld. Not to be all na-na-na-na about the superhero stamps, but I have to say that they are pretty darn awesome. ;) Ooooh, ooooh! And thanks for agreeing with me about the oven being a valid source of heat. My husband thinks its overkill, but when you live in a place where you get snow in October, you need to use every available resource!

      I agree with you, this comment needs lots of more !!!!!! Let's throw in these @@@@›$›fifl^ for good measure too. Hee! :)

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  12. Snow? SNOW??? Seriously? That's so cool! Send in some, please! :p It's still hot here in SoCal, way above the 90s F, boo! And tomorrow it's going to be about 100F.

    I don't think baking is relaxing, either, haha. I'm usually rushing to get things done, because if I bake it's because I want to bring something somewhere ... And I usually forget the extra time you need to let the dough sit in the fridge and such, haha. Tomorrow I'm taking cookies to the library because there's a cookie exchange. Honestly, I'm happy it's an exchange because that means other people are eating mine and not me, hahaha!

    Anyway, I got your kick-ass letter last week, yay! :D The pink card is already on my mood board. LOVE IT! You'll hear from me soon ;).

    Hope you're having a great week, Laura! ;D

    Hugs!

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  13. Yay! I like that I'm called 'kickass' by someone else than me (I try hard to seem cooler than I am)! I don't care if there isn't that many adjectives starting with a K... There's... umm... Kooky. Which would be appropriate. And Klutzy, also appropriate.

    *totally ignoring any references to snow* LALALALALALAAA *keeping my fingers in my ears and keep singing*

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    1. Oh, but you forgot my personal favourite: Krazy. Because it's CRAZY, but with a K, which makes it even more crazy because the word is misspelled. There's a lot of layers to this.

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  14. I'm gonna ignore the snow comment, if I ignore it, it'll go away! If you hadn't mentioned the mustaches being upside down I would have never noticed. Mustaches come in all shapes and sizes so I think they look good either way.

    P.S. I love Fringe!

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    1. That's what my husband says too and I'm starting to come around to your moustache way of thinking.... :)

      Oh, you have EXCELLENT taste in TV! I love Fringe so much too!

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